Things we might have in common:
Better is ok.
Life is good.
If you find yourself pausing long enough to read those 8 words and any part of you is smiling or even nodding your head in agreement, you’re a part of “we.”
Now, diving deeper in to this, you know what this is not. It’s not wishing. Not fairy tale. Not fatalistic.
Enough isn’t. It means that I’d like a little more. Like a dinner I had with two of my business mentors last month. The conversation completely turned when a single question landed on the table.
That one question lasted another 3 hours of conversation, and if it wasn’t already 1 o’clock in the morning (and, I didn’t have a 5am wake up call to leave for the airport) I could have stayed engaged much longer.
Because enough isn’t, it’s that much more critical to spend as much focus on what is. Right here, right now. In this present moment, what can we do to maximize it? Because enough isn’t, we might end a conversation, a meeting, a day wishing something different had happened.
Here’s a challenge: While you’re IN it, imagine what (later on) you’ll wish would have happened. Focus on it here, bring it to your mind and see if you can make it happen.
Better is ok means that improvement doesn’t mean something’s wrong. In fact, it means the opposite. Better means things are good, that we can make them even better…make sense?
When things are not good, we don’t necessarily work to make them better or improve them. We might make them “less not good,” but when things are not good it’s hard to let “better” even come into our minds.
It’s when things are good (nay, when things are great) that people like you and I get really engaged; I mean REALLY engaged. Think about how you feel after you finish reading a book, when you come back from vacation or spend quality time with someone you love. I’ll tell ya what happens to me: I think, “I want some more of THAT!”
Here’s a challenge: Make a list of 20-35 things that are great. (Let yourself have about a week to make this list.) Once you have that list, go through, one by one, and ask yourself: “What could happen this year to make my best…better?”
Life is good. Ok, so my mentor Marshall Goldsmith reminds me of this every time he sends me an email. At the bottom of the note, he reminds me, “Life is good.” People like us, we resonate with this, and look for examples of how this is true.
Over a breakfast conversation with a client/colleague/friend (the best kind of people to work with) who I hadn’t seen in over 5 years, we discussed a variation on this theme: “People are good.”
People like us, we read this and have a couple of thoughts.
1. Yeah, that’s kinda right.
2. Woah, I have a few examples of how that’s wrong.
Then, the most amazing thing happens…we slowly seem to let #2 go, and go through our mental bank account reviewing #1. Want a challenge? Here you go:
Make a list of the 4 people you MUST spend some more quality time with this year. Then, next to each person, write down what “quality” means, and “how much” time you’ll want to spend with them. I did this, and realized that I’m going to need to spend a little more time alongside a few significant people in my personal AND professional life.
Next step…I’m sending some emails. Ok, I gotta go make a few lists!